Tuesday, November 12, 2013

Taking Steps by Faith ....baby steps

Proverbs 3: 5-6
Trust in the Lord with all your heart and lean not on your own understanding; in all your ways acknowledge
him ,and he will make your paths straight. 

I don't know what the next few weeks, months hold. But, when I look into the future I feel emptiness without David. At the same time, I feel an overwhelming amount of anticipation for what God has planned for myself, Audrey and Parker. 

My heart is eager to live and to share our story with others. I don't know what this means? These past few days I have felt comfort and encouragement that only comes from each of you. You all are what make our story. You are the community that has surrounded our family and has continued to pray for us and encourage us.  There have been an abundance of emails to encourage me to continue to write. I have read these and disregarded, as nothing in my life has ever defined me as a writer. I am pretty sure English was my worst subject and if it is one of your better subjects,  you can read my grammar errors all over. But, what I am good at, is knowing my story. Knowing the foundation behind it. Knowing when God sends you enough emails that says....  My child, just wait, just listen....I have just begun..........."  Have you ever read a story in the bible and wanted to yell? What are you thinking! How do you not see God all over this? How did the Isralieties see the Red Sea part and STILL NOT BELIEVE!? Well, I think David and God are up there right now having their own..." Come on Dana! Open your EYES! " moment. 

If the emails weren't enough it was like a flash of history that flashed before my eyes one morning this past week. I was reminded of some of the things David did within the last 24 hours before his death. He would casually raise his hand to the air and look up. Never saying a word. He did this maybe a total of 5 times. I really believe he was making the transition already. But, one thing he did do, right before he fell into the non responsive state, he raised his hand in the air and started writing. The hospice nurse and I looked at him and thought maybe he thought he was writing perscriptions. Going back to his doctor days? I mean.... what else would he be doing? We had never seen him do anything like this. It is now that God once again says,.." Open YOUR EYES! " I believe God was telling me through David to share our story and continue to share. I mean? Writing in the air. Craziness. 

If it doesn't get weirder then that...a nice girl sent me an email a few months back. She said she had a dream.  I was sitting in a room with a green journal and was so eager to share of David's healing, I kept writing. Once again, I disregarded her email and her dream, because I knew at that time David would not be healed and I would not be sharing that story. I never shared this email with anyone. Just a few weeks ago, my friend bought me a journal. A journal she said to just write and let it flow. I set the journal aside as I have never been one to write in a journal. What did I find myself doing this last Saturday?  Sitting in a room....just writing. Just like that sweet girl said months ago. I did not remember her email until later that day when I was going through emails and ran across the archived ones. Because, facebook never fully deletes. Thank goodness. Once again.... " Oh Dana! OPEN YOUR EYES! " 

What does this mean? I have no idea? Maybe nothing? Maybe something? Will I continue the blog? Will I share our story further? Will our story be a platform for something else later? I don't know? All I know is God is not done...he is just beginning.  And this story belongs to him. All of you that follow, I ask that you continue to encourage me. Provide me with truth, prayer, wisdom and understanding. 

Many have asked to see the Funeral Service. Below is the link. Some behind the scenes info. At minute 40 you will hear music and see the Pastor sitting there. This is when the tribute video is being played. I am so thankful we have this link. I spoke at the end of the Memorial service and do not remember much of it. But, the kids and I had the chance to ring the Memorial bell that you all have graciously supported. Can't wait to update you all on the progress! 

Taking Steps By Faith..............baby steps