David is not far.......... I am amazed at the ways God continues to show his prescence in our lives. Again, opening my eyes to the little things to see the big. Last week, minutes after I told the kids of Daddy's passing we went outside. Audrey came back a few minutes after playing in the dirt, her favorite, with a leaf. A leaf that she told me daddy gave her. I asked her where she got it? She said," From daddy, mommy!." I asked, " But where?" I guess you can say I didn't believe it with my own eyes:) She took me to a pile of acorns. Not a leaf around...just dirt, but there, daddy gave her this leaf. To see the big, you have to see the little...........
That same night the kids and I did our bible devotion. And if the leaf wasn't enough. 1 Samuel Chapter 17 was our devotion for that night. The David and Goliath story. The story that each of you wear on your green bracelets. I started crying...how I felt David more then ever, ( and a couple goosebumps). He.......is........... ok..........
'Do not fear, for I am with you; Do not anxiously look about you, for I am your God. I will strengthen you, surely I will help you, Surely I will uphold you with My righteous right hand.'
Mourning with hope....would be the phrase as I celebrate our ten year anniversary today. Ten years. The kids and I woke up and we looked through Daddy and Mommy's wedding album. Parker wanted me to get my dress out and wear it....don't think that would be such a pretty sight anymore. He had the ME bag for school and he wanted to take a picture of Mommy and Daddy to show the class on Mommy's princess day. Princess day it was. Today, not so much. Ten years......a big milestone. We celebrated two birthdays, an anniversary and mourned a death all in the matter of weeks.
But, mourning with hope. What we are encouraged to do. Mourning....it is necessary and needed to experience hope. This week as everyone left and David's ashes arrived I felt the loneliness I needed to feel. I need to feel today, I need to feel the sorrow so I can have the hope. Mourning with hope..... I never yell out to God why? I never say why me? I just plain old miss David. And I mourn. I cry. I miss him. I miss waking up this a.m. and seeing one of his cards he wrote for me. I miss seeing the cards he always had the kids make for me on birthdays and anniversaries. I miss the flowers and I miss whatever gift or trip we would be doing. Last year we told the church for our ten year anniversary we wanted to go overseas and do mission work. Our first mission trip ever. No better way we felt to celebrate our love then to spread love. Today, we are not overseas, David is not here, but he is in an amazing place, but he is not with me. And selfishly I want him here.
I have grown in my faith and learned so much. I believe with all my heart that heaven is not as far as I always thought it was. I believe David is very much apart of our lives. Granted, not sitting right next to us:) That would be freaky:) But, he is not far. So, I mourn today, I say happy anniversary and I have hope. Hope on what is to come, hope in the eternity in heaven he is living. Living. I am reminded, that life is a gift. David believed this and lived this. Life is a gift....Not all gifts last a life time. Not all gifts are always our favorite, gifts can be taken, and everyone experiences gifts. Life is a gift. I don't find joy in my circumstances, but find joy in my faith and that the prayers from all of you will get me through this. This week as I Mourn with Hope and see David's testimony still shine through his memorial...........God keeps telling me, " My child, just wait, just listen....I have just begun..........." Today I focus on Hope.
Because of all of you, we are able to carry David's memory on. Through Waco, North Platte and even MD Anderson. We will update you daily on the progress we make. Next week we begin the process of naming the TEAM HURST bell at the HillCrest Cancer Center. Through the Memorial Fund we will share the story of David and community. Each of you are a part of our story. But, most importantly we will share the story of someone who lived.
At the end of David's Memorial the kids and I got the chance to give David an early anniversary gift. To ring the remission bell for him. For he is Cancer free. He is free.
The day of the Memorial it was beautiful weather. It was beautiful all weekend. But, monday, as the last guest left it started to rain and rained for several days. I believe Jesus wept tears for all of us that wept the loss of David. John 11:35 " Jesus Wept ." We left a celebration to go back to life but process the loss of a wonderful person. Below find the link to a video that was played at the Memorial. I hope you can watch this with me today and see all that life has to offer and the gift of it and the joy you can find in it, but before you find the joy, mourn with me as we continue to miss a great soul.......
Matthew 5:4 Blessed are those you mourn, for they shall be comforted.
VIDEO PLAYED AT MEMORIAL