Monday, October 7, 2013

Bumpy day

We had quite a scare with David last night. At about 4 a.m. he fell when getting up to go to the bathroom. When I turned on the lights, I noticed the whole left side of his face and lips completely swollen and blown up. He was unrecognizable. My mom was in town and I immediately called hospice for help as we did not know if the swelling was from infection ( that we had been watching for days) or the fall? 

Once David got the appropriate medication this a.m. to lower the swelling and treat infection we started to notice huge signs of improvement. THANK GOD.  Being the evening now, I still continue to watch it go down hour by hour. I am so thankful as my main worry and fear has been him experiencing pain. At the same time, I do not want him sedated enough that he can not appreciate the joy of visitors and love ones that come to spend time with him through out the day. And last night it seemed there may be no option but to pump him with pain medication. Thankful to our local oncologist and hospice who worked with me to find the source of the problem and treat David so he could be interactive and comfortable and improve greatly. Because this was what the old David would want. This is the man that didn't take one pain pill after any of his brain surgeries:) But, instead welcomed a room of friends to the ICU only hours after. 

We did pursue the private aid last Wednesday that we wrote about but it was not a successful match unfortunately. God once again provided when I felt another dead end. As many of you know, my good friend Wren Horn passed away one year ago. She also had cancer. She was diagnosed when she was pregnant with her third child. Many friends and I came together searching for a nanny for Wren's children when she was diagnosed. We felt this was needed so Wren could focus on healing. This was when we met Luz. Luz became more then a nanny. She was a companion for Wren, taking care of her and the children . She was an angel to us all. Well, now I have the overwhelming blessing of Luz being a part of our life. In just a week, our lives have changed with her help. I can focus on being a wife. I can be a mother. And I can be a friend to the visitors we have. Luz, watches out for not just David, but my kids and me, making sure that all is running smoothly. I think I tell her at least 10 times a day, how much I love her and am thankful for her. David warmed up to Luz right away and knew she was someone he cared about. 

I am thanking you all for your prayers, and ask that you pray hard for peace and comfort for David at this time.  Seeing him in pain last night was the hardest thing I have had to go through. But, not just me, I know he was feeling it in his heart too. I have not seen that pain in his eyes once and last night I did. But, will say once it all got managed, he continued to tell us he felt great and was still happy:) Many who have spent time with David the past two weeks can attest to this happiness. All leave our home amazed at a man that may struggle with sentences, but when it comes to his faith and love for his family and friends he talks perfectly and clearly. 

Knowing that David was going to look quite different with the swelling I made a decision to take both Audrey and Parker to therapy today. The therapist and I spent ten minutes explaining how daddy fell and may not look the same. The kids handled it so well. Because of their ability to handle this we moved the conversation a little further discussing what happens if Daddy dies. This was Parker's first time attending and we were amazed with that little mind of his. He was the first one to let us know that Daddy would be with God. But, that Parker was going to get a rocket ship that went farther then any rocket ship so he could see daddy in heaven. Because a boat just wouldnt do it. To say hard, is an understatement, but we explained how when Daddy is in heaven you can't touch him anymore. Parker told us this makes him sad. We confirmed us to! We asked them for ways they can feel Daddy if they can't touch him and I was amazed at their little minds. They both ranted off a list of ways....sleeping in daddy's spot in the bed, sitting in the couch that he always sits in, praying  to God, smelling his shirts..... amazing. I have a lot too learn from these munchkins and love their hearts. 

Today was the first day I got out of the car and picked Audrey up in front of school. Audrey was super excited and so were all these little kindergartners who started to surround me. They presented me with this green blanket and all of them , Including Audrey, were so excited to tell me how hard they worked tying the knots and making this for Audrey's daddy. One kid said if anyone needs a hug this blanket will do it ;) it also came with ties that were undone for others to take part in the love when they see David. 

Trying today to focus on the love from you all that we are so thankful for. You all remind me daily that the lord has not let go of me. Thank you for that constant peace .